I’ve been a reviewer of educational programs for pharmacists for over 20 years and, somewhere along the way, I learned tips on how to critique a person’s writing. I think this advice can apply to any time we want to share an opinion on work someone has done or even on an opinion they’ve expressed, so I thought I’d pass it along. Too often, conflicting opinions are expressed rudely, especially on the internet where people feel anonymous. It makes me cringe, knowing there’s a human somewhere on the other side of the screen…
Expressing opinions
The way you express your opinion can either begin a stimulating discussion where both parties can learn something (even if it’s only what others think) or it can shut down the conversation and belittle the other person. And isn’t it conversation, learning and new ideas that make life interesting?
In conversation, it helps to acknowledge the other person’s opinion before expressing your own—perhaps by saying something like: “That’s an interesting take on the situation” or ” Now, that seems different from my experience”. You get the idea. We all have different points of view and experiences, and these colour how we judge events. We believe what we do for a reason. Acknowledging and trying to understand others’ opinions broadens our understanding of the experience, event or whatever is being discussed.
Churchill famously often used to begin with “I may be wrong, but…”, allowing him to more easily change his mind when he learned additional facts that warranted it. None of us can claim to know everything. We form our opinions on what we know, and it’s just smart to keep the door open to changing your mind after you’ve learned more.
On the internet, it’s much easier for some to become the bully when they don’t know the person who wrote the post. These are the ones we call trolls, although I expect they don’t see themselves that way. We need to remember there is a real person, a human with feelings, behind that text.
Helpful tips
So, the tips I was taught to follow, when doing a formal review of an educational program, besides following these thoughts, were to start the critique by pointing out what was good about the program, offer constructive criticism of what I felt could be improved, and to finish with something positive. You can almost always find something complimentary to say about a piece of writing or a passionate opinion (if only the commitment to an idea).
It was also recommended to make positive suggestions for improvement, rather than just criticize what was said. Offering an additional credible source of information to support your suggestion carries more weight than just you saying it. I often add a link to a recognized website with authority on the subject to support my suggestions.
In conversation with a person who believes facts we know are incorrect according to current science, for example, in the debates over vaccines and masks, pointing out that they are incorrect won’t help change their mind. First, it is recommended to try to understand why they believe what they do. People who are fearful, may want to deny that the pandemic is real to reduce their fear; someone whose child has had a bad reaction could understandably believe that all vaccines are dangerous. Simply commanding a person to “Take your medicine” without understanding why they are hesitant, answering their questions and gaining their trust, rarely results in increased compliance to taking medication. I learned this and more in a 10-hour program on how to counsel patients effectively.
Sadly, on the internet where it’s difficult to build real relationships and many feel they are almost anonymous, there are too many people who feel justified in creaming someone because they have a different opinion. I see this all too often on a Pharmacy website I follow. It surprises me that nice polite Canadians can sometimes be so mean to their colleagues. Fortunately, they’ve not done it to me yet (I write articles for the site from time to time), but I have experienced this on FaceBook. I just keep being nice and point out where my facts came from (I don’t just make stuff up!!).
And after you’ve been trolled?
So, here’s a suggestion for when you run into someone who hasn’t learned to be kind when they have a critique of your work or have a different opinion than you. Keep a little file, folder or book with complementary comments and praise you’ve received, cards you’ve received that say what a great friend you’ve been, thank you’s for something kind you’ve done.
Either ignore or respond to the critique in a calm, polite way, depending on the comment and venue then, later, browse through the wonderful feedback you’ve received in the past to remind yourself that not everyone is a troll.
Over the years, I’ve received many cards and thank-you notes from happy clients and I still have them—they’re shown in the photos above and below. It raises my spirits to look through them from time to time…
Thank-you's for some pet medicines I made over the years...
