How do you feel about your body? Critical or comfortable? Ashamed, accepting, proud? Do you love your body, accept what you've got, or are you downright self-conscious? A show on CBC Radio today got me thinking about this subject that’s been in the back of my mind for a while…
Who decides what’s beautiful anyway?
For far too long beauty has been dictated to us by magazines and movies—the goal for us all has been to be a youthful size 2 or buff and muscular, straight from the gym. And, when we don’t achieve these impossible goals, we criticize ourselves and sometimes feel ashamed of our bodies and our lack of willpower.
Even the medical BMI (Body Mass Index) that health professionals use to gauge our ideal weight is skewed to thinness. Although extreme excess weight can have health consequences, analyses show that those in the “overweight” BMI category statistically live longer, on average, than those in the normal and underweight groups. In the interest of helping us to be healthier, doctors will often recommend losing those “extra pounds” whether they have anything to do with the reason for our visit or not, leading some to dread or even avoid medical visits.
It’s all hard on the self-esteem, isn’t it! I think it’s time to work on normalizing our opinions of our human selves… time to be proud of who we are and comfortable with how we look. Our focus should be on being healthy and enjoying life, whatever size or shape we are. Curves are good! We’re made to be “curvy”.
Not just weight…
There are other worries people have about how they look, too. Scars, birth marks, and skin conditions can all take their emotional toll on those affected if they let them. But it can help to realize that most of the worry is your own. If other people have a problem with your outer appearance or your skin condition, it’s really their problem, right? And people really don’t notice, especially when they know you.
So, I’m not just writing this article for those who have some characteristic that they worry makes them stand out from the crowd in some way. I want to convince those in the crowd not to judge individuals based on some fabricated ideal of “perfection” that none of us achieve more than temporarily in our lives, if at all.
Accepting and ignoring physical so-called flaws in others, and looking instead for their positive qualities, can help build their self-esteem while helping us be less critical of ourselves. Skin markings or colour, skin conditions, type of clothing or extra pounds do not determine who a person is, and we can train ourselves not to make unwarranted judgements based on physical characteristics.
So, love and accept yourself and those around you. Have a goal of enjoying life and making others lives better. Remember that your thoughts are just “suggestions”, not necessarily truths or paths you must follow. You can pause, and create new thoughts or suggestions to block ongoing critical thoughts of others. Being healthy, sexy, energetic, and beautiful is not exclusive to those who are young, slim and muscular.
Life is too short to waste it craving for impossible physical perfection. Look for the best in others and you may find it easier to love the skin you’re in. And I think it works the other way too—if you love and accept your own imperfect self, you may find it easier to accept others as they are, as well.
If you’d like to listen to this thought-provoking CBC show, here’s the link:
How to embrace the body you’re in—Now or Never, CBC Radio One https://www.cbc.ca/radio/nowornever
Photo: Partial eclipse of the sun, June 10th, 6:15am, Cap-Pele, NB, jcb
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