Think of happiness as something you can decide on, something you can practice and get better at… Does that sound strange? Scientists say, the more you choose to focus on being happy and having positive thoughts, the happier you can become.
Your brain is “plastic”. It constantly changes, making new connections as you learn something new or create a new memory, and it strengthens the connections that are used most often. Think of a new skill or hobby you’re learning – the more you practice, the easier it becomes to do it.
It’s the same, experts say, with your thoughts. The more attention you give to the happy, pleasant things in your life, the better you will remember them looking back at the end of the day, week, or year. Your whole life will just feel happier, because that’s what sticks with you.
Survival of the busiest...
Darwin’s theory, “survival of the fittest”, explains how species gradually evolve over time. Psychologists use the term “Neural Darwinism”, or survival of the busiest connections, to refer to our brain’s ability to change over time according to what we focus on and learn. Just like muscle, the brain builds up the parts that are used most. They have actually measured thickening in certain parts of the brain that are used more. For example, taxi drivers who memorize streets in large cities have thickened layers in the hippocampus area of their brains, the area where visual-spatial memory is stored.
And brain pathways that aren’t used become weakened and wither over time. Limiting the time spent dwelling on sad events from the past, for example, means that over time our ability to pop these thoughts into our mind will lessen. Of course, we all have negative, unpleasant things that happen to us, but dealing with them as best you can then setting them aside in your thoughts can mean they will have less impact on your life and you will be a happier person.
You can also try to find something positive in an unpleasant situation – did you learn something from what happened? Can you find a way to do it better next time? Did it bring you closer to those you love? Take any positivity you can and move on. You can’t change the past. But you can limit how much effect it has on your future.
For some people, writing a journal of positive thoughts at the end of the day can prompt them to focus on the positive in their lives. For others, simply taking a few seconds to appreciate what is pleasant as it happens is all they need to do to reinforce these memories and feelings.
So, train your brain to be happy. What you focus on and practice regularly will eventually become a habit. Make it a project to consciously decide every day to dwell on the best things in your life, and very likely you will soon find you are a happier person.
Further reading:
Hardwiring Happiness, by Rick Hanson, PhD
